Christian Couples Counseling: Common Problems to Address

Is your relationship in need of a tune-up, or perhaps a major overhaul? Christian couples counseling is a helpful tool for getting your relationship back on track, no matter what issue you may be facing. Christian couples can reap benefits from sessions with a qualified counselor.

Many factors affect our relationships over time. As a couple, you are unique individuals with different priorities, preferences, and schedules. You have different backgrounds and reasons for thinking and acting the way you do. When two people come together in a romantic relationship with all these factors at play, problems are inevitable.

Though you may feel overwhelmed by challenges in your relationship, you can gain hope through Christian counseling. It’s wise to have a professional look at your relationship from an objective viewpoint. With this third-party insight, you can start changing the relationship dynamics and gain harmony.

Common Problems for Couples

Every year, we help many couples overcome their relationship obstacles. These problems may seem insurmountable to you now, but with guidance from a caring counselor, you can make breakthroughs in these areas as well.

Communication Problems

Men and women communicate in different ways. This dynamic often presents problems in relationships. One partner may be more reserved, while the other may be more talkative. One may be more open in speaking about emotions, and the other may be unpracticed. Since opposites tend to attract, this is one of the most frequent reasons couples seek help from us.

If nagging, passive aggression, silent treatments, or angry outbursts are present in your relationship, they are signs of communication problems. These problems are difficult to eradicate without outside help. Your counselor will help you see the underlying dynamics, address the problems as a team, and form healthier communication styles.

Personality clashes

When you fell in love with your partner, his or her personality differences probably seemed exciting to you. Over time, you can start to notice the dark sides of those personality differences, which we all have. Maybe your partner has also noticed the negative sides of your personality, and you have started clashing. You may feel confused and frustrated by this.

Rather than getting stuck in a cycle of criticism and defensiveness over personality differences, you can gain perspective from a trained counselor. By teaching you to value and honor one another’s differences in practical ways, your counselor will guide you into new ways of thinking. This can enhance your appreciation of one another and help you love one another in healthier ways.

Priority conflicts

It’s common for couples to have conflicting priorities. One partner may be highly driven to work, and the other may be more laid back. One partner may place a high value on spending time with friends or extended family, while the other partner craves more one-on-one time. Add other obligations like school, community commitments, sports, and children into the mix, and you have the potential for lots of conflict over different priorities.

Your counselor will offer practical assistance to help you work as a team in setting priorities. In our busy, fast-paced world, this collaboration is essential for establishing a peaceful foundation in your relationship. Each partner’s priorities matter, and an objective third-party counselor can help you sort out the priorities in ways that honor one another.

Money matters

Money problems are one of the top reasons that married couples divorce, so it’s important to address money matters in a dating relationship. That way, you can get on top of a problem before it ever takes over your relationship down the road.

We all have different approaches to spending and saving money. These choices and perceptions are shaped in childhood. Your counselor can help you understand where both of you are coming from on money issues and assist you in coming up with plans that show respect for one another.

Planning for the future

As couples discuss future plans, they can get stuck on major issues: Where will we live? What level of income do we want? How many children do we want to have? Which denomination of church will be our place of worship? How much of our budget should we allocate to giving? These are all important questions that need to be addressed.

If you have reached an impasse in discussing important issues like these, a Christian counselor can help you get unstuck. Planning for the future is an exciting step in your relationship that deserves attention. Your counselor will guide you in thinking through all the options and making choices that bring cohesion into your relationship.

Interference from others

Many couples deal with unwanted interference from others. A woman may be concerned with how much time her boyfriend spends with his friends. A man may be worried about how often his girlfriend’s family shares their opinions about the choices they make as a couple. These problems need to be dealt with as your relationship moves forward.

The Bible tells us that when couples marry, they become one flesh. If you are considering marriage in the future, it’s worthwhile to discuss interference from others with a counselor. In your counseling sessions, you will learn how to set healthy boundaries, adjust your expectations, and honor one another first.

Addictions

Many couples are affected by addictions to work, food, shopping, gambling, pornography, or substances. It’s essential to address and treat these addictions before moving toward marriage in your relationship since addictions are often a death sentence to marriages.

Addictions are complex problems that need professional treatment. We have helped many couples overcome addictions and move forward to have happy healthy relationships. If addictions are wreaking havoc in your relationship, Christian couples counseling can be a welcome relief.

Bible Verses for Couples

To strengthen your relationship as a couple, you can use the following verses for study, meditation, and prayer. Talk them over with your partner and discuss how you can apply them to your relationship troubles. Use these verses to place hedges of protection around your relationship. Your counselor can help you learn more about these biblical principles in couples counseling.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things, there is no law. – Galatians 5:22-23

You need all the fruits of the spirit for your relationship to thrive. Pray that the Holy Spirit will help you bear more fruit in your relationship. Ask for the change, to begin with you.

Love each other with genuine affection and take delight in honoring each other. – Romans 12:10

It’s important to commit to being affectionate early in your relationship. By establishing a pattern of affection, you’ll have a secure plan in place to help you weather the storms of life that are common to everyone. Delight in honoring your partner, and you will both experience greater happiness.

Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. – Ephesians 4:2

No partner in a relationship is perfect. We all have flaws that will be magnified in close relationship to one another. When you make allowances for your partner’s faults with gentleness and humility, you will be acting like Christ toward your loved one.

Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. – Ephesians 4:32

Forgiveness and kindness are the keys to long-lasting relationships. When you practice these godly traits toward one another, you’ll have greater peace in the days to come, no matter what trials you may face together.

Christian Couples Counseling

When you feel stuck, don’t struggle to handle problems on your own. Know that a caring Christian counselor is waiting to guide you onto a healthier path. We have helped many other couples overcome their problems, and we’re ready to help you as well. Contact us today to set up your first Christian couples counseling appointment.