Relationship Issues

Matt’s Story Part 1: Something Missing

Matt had everything going for him. Well almost. He had just graduated college and was excited to move from intern to employee. He had a nice apartment (which even allowed him to have a dog), he was active in his local church, and he was excited about life ahead. But something was missing. Matt didn’t have anyone with whom to share this excitement. Matt was very studious in his college years and found that most of his friendships were very superficial. He didn’t have the time to make close friends. Matt felt isolated at his church, too. They were not always welcoming of his many questions and doubts, often giving him “just because” answers that didn’t really satisfy him. He wanted something more – a real connection with others who understood him.

Do you relate to Matt? Are things standing in the way of your ability to form fully-connected, healthy relationships? If so, we can help you discover why that might be and offer you practical solutions based on Bible-based guidance and faith in Christ.

What are some of the common reasons for relationship issues? Discovering what is holding you back is one of the first steps in Christian relationship counseling. This can include things like:

• Personal problems.
• Past wounds.
• Addictions.
• Family of origin issues.
• Low self-esteem.
• Health concerns.
• And more.

There are many reasons people struggle with relationships. Often times it’s fear. It’s very common for people to put up walls of protection, especially if they have been hurt by people in the past. Whatever the case might be for you, we will help you work through your issues so you can find and maintain satisfying relationships.

Goals of Christian Relationship Counseling

What can Christian relationship counseling do for me? If you’re coming to us for relationship help, chances are your main goal is to simply learn how to have a healthy relationship. While that is one of the most important aspects of what you’ll be discovering, there is much more we hope for you. Our goals for you include:

• Showing you how to build a healthy relationship.
• Discovering how to make friends and how to be a good friend.
• Finding ways to nurture healthy family relationships.
• Discovering what might be a barrier to forming close relationships.
• Finding healing for inner wounds and fears.
• Building a stronger connection with yourself and with Christ.

We have so many kinds of relationships – relationships with co-workers, friends, family, our spouse or romantic interest, and our relationship with self and God. Wherever your area of concern might be, we are here to help you through compassionate and effective Christian counseling.

Matt’s Story Part 2: Sound Advice

One of the few people Matt really felt close to was his older brother, who unfortunately lived across the country. During a conversation about fellowship and finding real friends, Matt’s brother reminded him that he had always been a bit of a loner, and he had ideas about why that was. Matt’s brother was a family therapist, and he suggested that Matt look into Christian relationship counseling so he could get help from someone who could offer a more objective perspective than his brother could for healthy relationship building.

What kinds of relationships can you help me build? The answer is — all of them! We hope to see you form satisfying relationships with all loved ones in your life, with yourself, and with Christ Jesus. To help you achieve this, common things we will work towards include Christian fellowship, solid friendships, healthy family relationships, and fulfilling romantic relationships.

The Importance of Christian Fellowship

What do you think of when considering the word, “fellowship”? Is it pot-luck Sunday at your church, or is it something more? The gathering together of like-minded people who can serve, strengthen, and support one another as fellow members of the body of Christ is what Christian fellowship is really about.

Though it’s good to get to know your fellow Christians and nothing is wrong with getting together for a good meal and talking about other things you share in common, having good, Christ-centered discussion and support is what’s most important. You want to surround yourself with people who will lift you up and help you grow into all you are meant to be, not people who will try to attack your faith or make you feel beat down in times of trouble. If you are new to Tacoma and want help finding a church that will support your beliefs, we might be able to help you get connected as well.

Building Fulfilling Friendships

Sometimes finding quality friendships can be hard. If you find yourself feeling isolated or engaging in superficial, shallow friendships that aren’t very satisfying, then it might be time to look for ways to change this. A good friend is warm, compassionate, available, someone who will help you grow, and someone who accepts you for who you are.

You might find yourself wondering how to make new friends. If this is the case, we can help you discover ways to find people who you can build real relationships with, while also finding tools for keeping these relationships alive.

Growing Christian Families

Your home should be a place of safety, support, and love. What would make you feel wholly satisfied with your family relationships? What might be standing in the way? These are questions we will help you explore. If you feel distant from those you love, suffer from harsh conflict, or just want more warmth and Christ-centered dynamics in your home, we can help.

We will help you take a close look at your unique family unit. We will look for ways to nurture strengths, find solutions for areas of weakness, and work towards growing a healthy family environment. If you don’t feel at peace in your home then seeking help is a good idea.

Christian Dating

If you have concerns about dating, we might be able to help. Despite your best intentions, it can be hard to know where to go and what to look for in a Christ-centered relationship. The question to ask is, have you been getting the results you hope for? If not, then it might be a good idea to think about why that is.

Maybe you have habits that keep you from letting people fully into your life. Maybe you are confused about what you want in a relationship or how to engage in dating relationships without getting hurt or compromising your faith, beliefs, and Christian values. Whatever your struggles, we are here to help you find clarity and faith-based answers.

Matt’s Story Part 3: Self Discovery
Isn’t relationship counseling for people who have bad relationships? Matt thought. Although he wasn’t sure about it, Matt respected his brother and thought, “why not?” After a couple sessions, Matt was very glad he took his brother up on his advice. Through Christian counseling, Matt realized that the reason he didn’t have close friendships had more to do with his own defenses than a lack of time. Matt and his brother were raised in a home that was less-than-ideal, even abusive at times. Because of this, Matt didn’t trust people easily. He hadn’t even realized that his tendency to think that people will reject him caused him to make up reasons for why he couldn’t invest into deeper relationships with people. He also decided it was time to put more effort into developing relationships at his church. To his delight, he found that once he put in the effort he found it reciprocated and started making real connections. There was even a girl that caught his eye that he decided to pursue. As Matt reflected on how things were unfolding, he saw many great adventures ahead and many lovely people to share them with.

We are wired with a need for connection. If you feel that area of your life is lacking, we can help you at Tacoma Christian Counseling. Whether you’re struggling at work, with friendships, within your family, or if you’re having a poor time of it in the dating world, we can offer you sound advice for finding the relationship help you need.

How is Christian counseling different?

Christian counseling is different from secular counseling because it considers all things needed for building whole, fulfilling relationships. What the world considers “normal” or “healthy” isn’t always aligned with what God ordains. Through this knowledge and through faith in Christ for healing and understanding, we offer a holistic approach to relationship counseling.

What type of Christian counselor do I need?

When looking for a counselor, you want someone who is experienced in understanding how relationships form, how they affect us, and how our behaviors and past relationships effect our interactions with others. You also want someone who you feel comfortable with. We welcome you to take a look at our online counselor profiles to help you find the best match for your needs.

Do I need marriage counseling or family counseling?

That depends on your unique needs. Sometimes individual counseling is enough to get the results you want. Other times it helps to include your family or partner in the counseling process. If you’re not sure which is best for you, your counselor can talk this over with you during your initial session. Should you need marriage counseling or family counseling, you might also continue with individual counseling to boost results.

If you’re tired of less-than-fulfilling relationships or lack of connection and feeling alone in your life, contact us today.

To learn more about Christian relationship counseling or to schedule your risk-free initial session with Tacoma Christian Counseling, we welcome you to give us a call at (253) 777-1997 or contact us online.