4 Ways to Make Yourself Emotionally Available to Your Children

Emotional availability is essential for any parent to implement with a child. It is one thing to earn a paycheck and to provide food and clothes for children. It is another thing to be emotionally available so that a child feels safe enough to talk to a parent about anything bothering them.

But emotional availability is easier said than done. Generations past looked down upon parents, particularly males, for expressing their feelings and being vulnerable about their lives.

Because of this, Generation X was raised with males who were not usually a part of the child-rearing process. Because the child-rearing process was assigned mainly to females, men didn’t quite know how to deal with their emotions. They often buried them or expressed them in inappropriate ways. However, in generations since, men have learned that it is okay to express feelings openly.

It is okay to cry, talk about sad things, and even grieve. Parents must be emotionally available for their children so they can be a good example of what it means to express emotions positively.

Making Yourself Emotionally Available to Your Kids

Here are four ways to make yourself emotionally available to your children.

Play with them

People in past generations didn’t play with their children as much. They often sent them away to play in a separate room. Parents were responsible for creating meals, providing shelter, and providing financial support. However, parents today can make themselves more emotionally available while playing with their children.

Although parents are still authority figures, playing with them shows that they are interested in what their children are interested in. Kids can create and say whatever’s on their minds and hearts. Children can play with their parents and explore their world together.

As the children explore their world, they realize that parents do not have to be scary or distant figures in their lives but are real people who, while they are authority figures, can be vulnerable, open, and honest. Children can feel safe being open and honest with them, in return.

Play doesn’t have to be complicated to be meaningful. Kids want a parent who will engage with them, not someone sitting on a couch looking at a phone, completely disengaged from their activities. Kids often ask a parent to look at them or see what they’ve made. This is a way for them to get their parent’s attention and receive the approval and love they desperately seek.

A parent who plays with their child regularly may find the child does not necessarily need that type of approval from them anymore. This is because they feel that their parents engage with them regularly.

Talk with them

In this technologically advanced world, deep conversations are more critical than ever. Because screen time often takes up most of a child’s day, they need to make memories with their parents. One of the ways they can do this is simply having conversations with them.

A parent may ask questions like, “What’s your favorite color?” or “What are you learning in school?” But they can also talk about your lives in ways that let the children know that you’re real people who experience real things along with them. As kids age, this will lend itself to having a better bond with your child as they grow, because the child will be used to talking with you and receiving advice, and this will pave the way for intimate conversations later.

Although each generation faces unique challenges, parents and their children may have faced similar stumbling blocks and challenges in their childhoods. Sharing these experiences creates a positive bond between parent and child.

Parents need to talk with their children to bond with them, and it also helps teach communication skills. Children may lack good communication skills because their parents did not model or teach them.

Are you using “I” statements to express your feelings and being open and vulnerable? Parents need to teach children how to communicate in ways that promote positive, enriching relationships. These relationships will benefit them and their children and allow them to create healthy relationships with others in the future.

Be present

A parent must be present with their child, whether playing with the child, talking with them, or taking them for an activity. Just as children are consumed with the amount of screen time they have each day, so are parents. Because phones are readily available, it’s easy for a parent to check their phone or social media feeds constantly. When they do this, they take their eyes off their child.

This tells the child that he or she is not as important as what’s happening on their phone. To be present with your child, put the phone (and all other screens) away and have a good time together.

Even if it’s just an hour playing a game or sipping cocoa and making memories, the memories you create without screens will last a lifetime. Additionally, being present teaches a child that they are important to you. That will help create a healthy self-image.

Cut off screens

Screentime is not bad in and of itself, but it is often abused or misused, especially when kids are bored and have nothing to do. Set a timer for an hour or two, then put the phone away. Allow children to create and use their imaginations by playing with their toys and their imagination and doing fun things like creating skits, contests, or other things that help them explore their world using their minds.

By using their minds, they unlock their creative potential. However, a person looking at the screen allows information to be spoon-fed to them. This creates an environment where a child does not need to use their brain often. Cut off screens and let your child be a child.

Becoming emotionally available may be difficult for some. However, take baby steps by simply playing with your child, talking with them, cutting off screens, and being present. When you do these things, you communicate to your child that they are loved and that the best memories they make are the ones they make today.