If you are facing marriage problems, you are not alone. Marriage is difficult, and too many people think their challenges are insurmountable. But separation and divorce are seldom the right answers. Many marriage problems can be solved with outside assistance through Christian marriage counseling.
God’s plan for marriage.Marriage was instituted by God before sin ever entered the world in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve were the first married couple whom God joined together. He created them for each other’s mutual benefit and pleasure. They were made to enjoy God and each another in perfect harmony and unity.
However, when sin entered the world, everything changed forever, including marriage. Adam and Eve instantly saw each other differently and blamed one another for their problems. Ever since that time, many couples have cast blame upon one another and experienced dissension.
Because God loves marriage, there is hope for married couples. He can help you overcome your marriage problems and experience wholeness as a couple. When you experience spiritual growth and healing, you can have greater wisdom and strength to follow God’s plan for your marriage.
Common marriage problems.
Many of us wrongly assume that marriage will solve all our problems. During the falling in love stage, it’s quite easy to overlook potential red flags or even simple differences of opinion. But since we are all sinful by nature, none of us has a perfect marriage. The initial feelings of being in love last up to two years for most couples, and then the hard work of marriage starts.
There is probably no better tool for uncovering hidden selfishness than marriage. When you are in close, daily contact with your spouse, both of your flaws will rise to the surface and can lead to conflict. But as you learn to recognize areas of your selfishness and how to handle your triggers for conflict, your marriage problems can improve.
Several common problems affect many couples. If you are experiencing any of these marriage issues, a caring Christian counselor can help you gain understanding. You will learn practical techniques in counseling sessions that will change the dynamics of your relationship.
Communication breakdown. Most married couples experience some type of communication breakdown at some point in their relationship. Many wives complain that their husbands are not as communicative as they would like. When a wife doesn’t get the connection she desires through communication, she may resort to nagging or pouting. However, this creates more issues if the husband shuts down in confusion and frustration. This couple can become trapped in an unhealthy cycle.
To be set free from toxic communication cycles like this one, you may need help from a Christian counselor. When you meet with a counselor, you’ll learn the differences between communication styles based on personality. You’ll also learn how to interpret your spouse’s needs for communication and meet them in healthier ways. As you practice new techniques, your communication can improve, and you can both feel happier in your marriage.
Many married couples are a case of opposites attract. When you fell in love, your differences may have felt exciting. But after the newness of marriage wears off, those same differences can seem annoying.
Sadly, many couples experience friction in their relationship due to simple personality differences. Your counselor can help you understand one another’s personalities better – both the strengths and the weaknesses. When you are aware of these areas, you can learn to pick your battles, so you aren’t constantly fighting against things that are unlikely to change. A Christian counselor will gently guide both of you toward areas where you can show more compassion and acceptance.
Sexual issues.Husbands and wives often have different sexual drives in various seasons of their marriage. Women are affected by monthly hormone cycles, childbirth, and menopause, all of which can affect sexual desire. Men can have changes in libido and performance as they age or when they are experiencing stress. Sexual abuse from the past can also have a bearing on a married couple’s relationship. If infidelity occurs, the marriage will be shaken down to its foundation.
Sex is a gift from the Lord. It is intended to draw a husband and wife closer together, not drive them apart. If you are having any sexual issues in your marriage, it’s essential to address them as soon as possible. These problems can eat away at your marriage until your love for one another grows cold. A Christian counselor can give you a third-party perspective on your sexual issues and help you restore your relationship.
Differences in work ethic can cause problems for married couples. Whether one spouse is a workaholic or someone who refuses to work, these extremes can tear a marriage apart. These problems often need outside intervention to change.
By meeting with a counselor, you can sort out work issues to prioritize your marriage. If the problem is workaholism, a counselor can coach the workaholic spouse on setting healthy boundaries around work and giving precedence to rest. If the problem is a lack of motivation to work, a counselor can help you both talk about expectations and take steps to get on the same page.
Money disagreements are responsible for many marriage problems. One spouse may be a spender, and the other may be a saver. Concepts of saving, spending, and giving are formed in childhood and influenced by our personalities. It’s common to marry someone with an opposite money style, and problems can easily result.
Though many couples consider money disagreements a reason to give up, often these problems can be addressed and resolved in counseling sessions. Money problems may be an indicator of deeper issues like fear, pride, or insecurity that need to be handled by a counselor. When you gain insight into money disagreements, you can solve the underlying issues, so money is no longer the main problem.
Disagreements about parenting.Children are a great blessing to a family. But it’s common for a husband and wife to disagree on how the children should be raised. Mom and Dad may have different parenting styles, and the children can notice this and use it against you. This can create unbalanced dynamics in your home which take a toll on your marriage.
If you feel that parenting problems are putting up walls in your marriage, it may be time to speak with a Christian counselor. Your counselor will listen to both of your concerns and help you get on the same page about parenting. When you can set appropriate boundaries and present yourselves as a unified team to your children, you will experience greater peace in your family and your marriage.
Interference from family members.
When a husband and wife unite in marriage, the Bible says they need to leave their families and cling together. But this doesn’t always happen, and it always creates problems. If either the husband or wife fails to leave and cling, multiple problems can develop among extended family members that can threaten the marriage.
When you have problems with your in-laws or other extended family members, you may be too close to see the root of the issues. You can gain an objective perspective on the problems by meeting with a Christian counselor. Both of you may need to adjust so the problems can be resolved, and your marriage can be freed from family strife.
Many marriages are afflicted by addiction problems. Whether the addiction is to substances, pornography, gambling, video games, shopping, or anything else, hope and healing are within reach. These problems are quite complex, so it’s wise to enlist professional help.
There are many tangled relationship problems linked to addiction, which affects every member of the family. Your counselor will help both of you deal with the deeper issues underneath the addiction, including codependency in the non-addicted spouse. Don’t wait to get help if you or your spouse is struggling with addiction, which could potentially destroy your marriage.
Christian counseling for marriage problems.
Your marriage is not doomed if you are experiencing any of these marriage problems. You can receive practical help, biblical encouragement, and a fresh perspective from a caring Christian counselor. The sooner you reach out for help with these problems, the sooner you can find peace and healing in your marriage. Reach out to us today.
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