Tacoma Christian Counseling Logo

  • ServicesRead about the expertise available
    • Individual ServicesAddress your personal concerns confidentially
      • ADHD
      • Aging and Geriatric Issues
      • Anger Management
      • Anxiety
      • Autism Spectrum Disorder
      • Bipolar Disorder
      • Chemical Dependency
      • Counseling for Children
      • Counseling for Teens
      • Codependency
      • Depression
      • Eating Disorders
      • EMDR
      • Grief and Loss Counseling
      • Individual Counseling
      • Infidelity and Affairs
      • Lifespan Integration Therapy
      • Men’s Issues
      • OCD
      • Pornography Addiction
      • Personal Development
      • Psychological Testing
      • Relationship Issues
      • Sexual Abuse
      • Sexual Addiction
      • Spiritual Development
      • Trauma
      • Weight Loss
      • Women’s Issues
    • Christian Couples CounselingWork through challenges together
      • Couples Counseling
      • Premarital Counseling
      • Marriage Counseling
    • Family CounselingEstablish the peaceful home you desire
      • Couples Counseling
      • Counseling for Teens
      • Counseling for Children
      • Family Counseling
    • Group CounselingBenefit from the support of others
      • Men’s Sexual Addiction Recovery
        Group
      • All Counseling Groups
    • Online Counseling
    • Anxiety
    • Depression
    • Sexual Addiction
    • Marriage Counseling
  • LocationsWe have offices at various locations
    • AnacortesAnacortes
    •  1Bellevue
    •  1Bothell
    • Edmonds
    •  1Everett
    • How Fathers Can Prepare Their Children to Fight Pornography's Lure: What Lies AheadFederal Way
    •  1Kent
    • Kirkland Christian CounselingKirkland
    • Lacey Christian CounselingLacey
    •  1Mill Creek
    •  1Monroe
    • Oak Harbor OutsideOak Harbor
    • Poulsbo
    •  1Puyallup
    •  1Redmond
    •  1Seattle Ballard
    • Seattle Downtown
    •  1Seattle Greenlake
    •  1Silverdale
    • Tacoma
    •  1Spokane
    • Spokane ValleySpokane Valley
    •  1Vancouver
    •  1Online Counseling
  • CounselorsFind out more about our counselors
  • CareersJoin our team of Christian Counselors
  • (253) 777-1997Please give us a call, we are here to help
header-image

Defining and Avoiding Sexual Assault

Tacoma Christian Counseling
https://tacomachristiancounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/image50.jpg 2400 1595
https://tacomachristiancounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Mount-Rainier.jpg
https://tacomachristiancounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Tacoma-Christian-Counseling-Logo-Fill-Stacked.jpg
621 Pacific Ave, Suite 302
TACOMA, WA 98402
United States
621 Pacific Ave, Suite 302
TACOMA, WA 98402
United States
Tacoma Christian Counseling
Sep
2015
25

Defining and Avoiding Sexual Assault

Pam Shaffer

Sexual Abuse
Sexual assault, sexual abuse, rape, and sexual molestation are all words or phrases we are familiar with. These terms tend to have several meanings, connotations, and implications, and this can lead to confusion and frustration. In a society where sarcasm, hyperbole, and rhetoric are typical means of communication, I believe that it is important to take words seriously. Explicitly defining these terms can reduce one’s confusion and frustration when discussing delicate situations. In this article, I seek to define what sexual assault is and outline some precautions you can take in order to avoid it. For the purposes of this article, I will be focusing mostly on the demographic at highest risk of being sexually assaulted, namely, females between the ages of 18 and 22 years old.

Words Matter

Communication becomes increasingly difficult without an appropriate vocabulary. Communicating without words would require highly developed gestures, facial expressions, and body language. The Bible speaks of words in a very explicit way. Proverbs 18.21 (ESV) states that, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue,
and those who love it will eat its fruit.” The letter of James likewise speaks of trying to tame the tongue, and suggests that doing so is not an easy task.

For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to
bridle his whole body. If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things.

Like us if you are enjoying this content.

How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell.  For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. (James 3:2-8, ESV)

Words suddenly seem vitally important. Not only words, but also how we choose to use those words, can bring either death or life. This is an extreme statement, but I do not think it is untrue, especially when we are discussing matters such as sexual assault.

Defining Sexual Assault

The words used to define sexual assault are clear and specific. The United States Department of Justice defines Sexual Assault as follows:

Sexual Assault is any type of sexual contact or behavior that occurs without the explicit consent of the recipient. Falling under the definition of sexual assault are sexual activities such as forced sexual intercourse, forcible sodomy, child molestation, incest, fondling, and attempted rape.

This definition makes it unmistakably clear that there must be explicit consent by the recipient, or else sexual contact is considered assault. Often victims of sexual assault are said to have consented to the sexual act, when they were in fact not even conscious or aware of what was going on in those moments. So much shame is placed on victims who may have been at parties, drinking excessively, using drugs, or even flirting or wearing provocative clothing. In our society, doing one or more of these things is somehow an indication that, “You were asking for it.” It is no wonder that so many victims never come forward to report the assault to law enforcement officials. Some victims don’t even tell their closest friends and family what has happened to them.

Believing that words matter, I am hopeful that the following words can reach someone who may be feeling shame over being assaulted. If you have been a victim of sexual assault, please know that you are not to blame. It does not matter how many drinks you had, where you were, who you were with, what kind of clothes you were wearing, or what kind of attitude you displayed. It is never okay for another human being to touch you without your explicit consent.

Safeguarding Yourself against Sexual Assault

While it is not acceptable for someone to touch you without consent, sometimes that crucially important word, “No,” just isn’t enough. The best defense is to safeguard yourself in situations with a heightened the risk of sexual assault. Here are some safeguarding suggestions.

1. Pepper Spray

Bearing in mind that most sexual assaults are committed by an acquaintance of the victim, carrying pepper spray or mace is one way to protect yourself from an attacker, even if you know the person. While it may seem silly to have pepper spray close by when at a friend’s house, this can be a very quick way of reducing risk.

2. Keep Your Friends Close

If you are planning to attend a party or social gathering, always go with friends. Be sure to check in with one another throughout the evening. Being accountable to one another and agreeing to leave together, or even to stay together at the event, is always safer than being alone.

3. Limit Your Alcohol Intake

Alcohol inhibits your ability to discern and judge a situation appropriately, and also compromises your basic motor functions. The more you drink, the more these effects are intensified, which makes it easy for predators to take advantage of you.

4. Have a Backup Plan

If you do happen to drink too much and realize that you cannot drive home, have a plan in place to make sure that you can get home safely. Have the number of a local cab company saved in your phone or download a rideshare app so that you have options for getting home.

5. Never Leave a Drink Unattended

Rohypnol, otherwise known as the date rape drug, is easily accessible and can be slipped into any drink. Keep your drink close by you, don’t leave it alone, and never accept a drink from someone you don’t trust completely.

6. Go Public Instead of Private

If going on a blind date or a first date, choose a public place that is well lit. Always be sure to let a friend know where you will be, with whom, and an estimated time of when you will be returning home.

Seeking Help after Sexual Assault: Christian Counseling

If you have been sexually assaulted you may feel afraid, alone, and as though nobody can help you. As a Christian counselor, I am committed to supporting and encouraging you through this process of healing after an assault. As difficult as it is to discuss these situations, telling your story is vital to the healing process. Christian counseling offers a safe place to begin that journey. Please don’t stay silent in your pain. You are not alone.

 

Resources
1. http://www.justice.gov/ovw/sexual-assault

2. https://www.rainn.org/get-information
Photos
“Urban Insanity,” courtesy of Dima Bushkov, Flickr CreativeCommons (CC BY 2.0); “4. Diary,” courtesy of Kevin Couette, Flickr CreativeCommons (CC BY-SA 2.0); “Protect,” courtesy of GotCredit, Flickr CreativeCommons (CC BY 2.0)
https://flic.kr/p/rECahx “Protect,” courtesy of GotCredit, Flickr CreativeCommons (CC BY 2.0)

  • Share on Facebook
  • Tweet it
  • ↑ Back to top

Other articles that might interest you...

What is Premarital Counseling?
Tacoma Christian Counseling

What is Premarital Counseling?

Amongst the laundry list of pre-wedding “To-Dos” someone, somewhere along the way may have mentioned “premarital counseling.” However, if you...

continue reading »
Get Counseling Before You Say “I Do!”
Tacoma Christian Counseling

Get Counseling Before You Say “I ...

There are lots of things that couples place on their “to do” list as it relates to weddings. The flowers,...

continue reading »
Premarital Christian Counseling in the 21st Century
Tacoma Christian Counseling

Premarital Christian Counseling in the ...

Taking the fig leaves off the relationship. The subject of premarital counseling comes on the heels of an ever-approaching wedding...

continue reading »

Related Services

  • Sexual Abuse
Tacoma Christian Counseling Logo
Tacoma Christian Counseling
Professional help with faith-based values
We are an association of professional, independently licensed Christian counselors experienced in helping people of all ages find healing for a wide variety of issues.
© 2023 Tacoma Christian Counseling. All rights reserved.
621 Pacific Ave,, Tacoma, WA 98402. Tel (253) 777-1997.
Facebook Twitter Online Counseling About Us Privacy Policy Terms of Use Feel free to contact us!
COVID-19 Service Update: We are still open for business. In office and online counseling is available if needed.