Tacoma Christian Counselor
How do you get the happy marriage everyone wants? The secrets to a happy marriage are not complicated; in fact, they are timeless and simple. But they can be challenging to practice day after day. This is the marriage advice we all need to thrive in our marriages.The key to a happy marriage is this attitude: put your spouse ahead of you. This unselfish attitude will overcome a multitude of personality differences, quirks, and even arguments.
We are all selfish people. That’s because of our sinful nature. We must continually wrestle with this natural selfishness and overcome it with God’s help to be the best possible spouse. By focusing on your spouse over yourself, you can cultivate a happier and more satisfying marriage.
Many of us got married because we thought that marriage would bring us happiness. We also put on a good show at the beginning of our relationship to win over our spouses. But once the high of the early romance eventually settles down, selfishness always rises to the surface. Then the challenge of putting your spouse ahead of you becomes a daily struggle.
If you focus on your own needs and feelings in your marriage, you are nearly guaranteed to experience frustration. God did not design a spouse to meet all your needs anyway. But if you choose to put your spouse first, you will feel happier because you will be serving someone else in humility and unselfishness.
Psalm 37:4 tells us to go to God first to get the desires of our hearts met. When you do this well, you won’t be so dependent on your spouse meeting your needs. Also, you’ll be filled up with God’s love so you can freely offer it to your spouse. This will make it easier for you to selflessly serve your spouse, which will bless your marriage.
Best marriage advice for all couples.
Married couples who apply God’s marriage advice tend to have better health, longer life spans, and a happier outlook on life. Pursuing God’s design for your marriage is good for you and your spouse in so many ways. Here are several relationship goals to pursue in your marriage.
Commitment. You spoke vows to your spouse when you got married, and that included being married until death parts you. Commitment is the bedrock foundation of your marriage. It’s important to never threaten to leave or divorce your spouse, but constantly remind them that you are committed to the marriage.
This is even more important when you are angry or disappointed because your spouse needs reassurance from you. A strong commitment to one another will help you in the inevitable hard times of your marriage.
This is one of the most important factors for happiness in your marriage. The faster and more often you forgive, the fewer issues you have between you and your spouse.
Forgiveness is not pretending that nothing bad happened. Instead, it is surrendering the matter to God and trusting him to take care of the “bad debt” that was incurred. It’s better to forgive than to try to get revenge. Forgiveness helps you focus on the good things about your spouse rather than the negative things, which will make you happier.
Building up your listening skills will convey greater love and concern for your spouse. You can learn more about your spouse by having them take personality and love language tests. Then you can listen better based on their unique needs. Thoughtful questions will keep the conversation flowing.
Rather than planning what you will say next, pay close attention to what your spouse is saying. In times of conflict, you can repeat what your spouse just said to increase clarity and defuse misunderstandings. The more you practice listening well, the stronger your marriage will become.
Emotional intimacy grows the more open you are with your spouse. Openness is conveyed through authenticity and vulnerability in your communication. Each day, you can cultivate openness by sharing your high and low points, and by sharing what God is doing in your life with your spouse.Each time you get beyond surface-level conversation with your spouse, you will be blessed by connecting at a heart level. Otherwise, your marriage could quickly descend into a roommate-like relationship. With a Christian counselor’s help, you can learn to communicate with greater openness.
Patience is an important way to guard the friendship in your marriage. Often spouses grow at different rates of self-awareness and emotional and spiritual health. You may sometimes feel frustrated that your spouse isn’t growing as fast as you, or that your spouse expects more out of you than you are currently giving.
That’s when patience is needed. Without patience, you could become irritated and critical of one another. View impatience as a prompt to pray, then ask God to help you show love to your spouse in that moment. God is always patient with you, and this fact can help you show more patience toward your spouse.
Willingness to adapt.
Over time, your spouse’s needs, desires, and preferences may change. If you have a willingness to adapt, you will both be happier. The truth is that both of you will continue changing and growing throughout your marriage. A bit of flexibility will increase the understanding and good feelings between you. Keep finding new ways to enjoy each other’s company, and your reasons to love your spouse will continue to multiply.
Humility.While a prideful spirit divides married couples, a humble spirit unites you. Always keep in mind that you are no better than your spouse. You are both imperfect humans in need of God’s constant grace.
A humble spirit toward your spouse will allow you to overlook small infractions and continue to show love even when your spouse makes mistakes. Humility empowers you to choose your battles well and work on strengthening your marriage through acts of selfless service.
Life often feels heavy. But when you choose to laugh with your spouse, both of your spirits will feel lighter. Learn what makes your spouse laugh and find ways to keep them laughing. Try to make them laugh every day and be sure to share your laughter with your spouse too. Both of you will feel happier with more laughter in your marriage.
Delight is a childlike quality. It keeps things light and fun when you look forward to spending time with your spouse since they are your favorite person. Plan activities each week that are just about enjoying each other’s company. These little events don’t need to cost much money. They will help you look forward to something and enhance your enjoyment of one another.
Each of you can continually cultivate a sense of wonder in each other. This is a choice to view your spouse’s differences as fascinating rather than off-putting. Keep studying your spouse and exploring his or her personality. The more you choose to see your spouse with a hint of awe and wonder at how beautifully God made them, the happier your marriage will be.
Your spouse will change month to month, year to year, and decade to decade. Don’t ever stop learning about your spouse because that will strengthen your marriage. You can also decide to learn things together, such as listening to the same podcasts, playing sports, or traveling to new places. Constant learning about your spouse is an adventure that will inspire freshness in your relationship.
Christian marriage counseling.
Marriage advice can only go so far in helping you with the problems you may be facing right now. You may benefit from several sessions with a Christian counselor, who can offer a valuable perspective based on biblical principles. To strengthen your marriage, don’t hesitate to try Christian counseling so you can have the best possible relationship with your spouse.
“Wedding Bands”, Courtesy of Sandy Millar, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Putting the Ring on the Finger”, Courtesy of Sir Manuel, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Mr. and Mrs.”, Courtesy of Yomex Owo, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Mountain Road”, Courtesy of Joshua Earle, Unsplash.com, CC0 License
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