Caregiving: When Caring for Others Becomes Overwhelming
Nicolle Maurer
Caring for others can be one of the most rewarding tasks on the planet. Over time, and without the proper system in place, it can also wear one down – mentally, physically, and spiritually. Tia Walker said, “Caregiving often calls us to lean into love we didn’t know possible.”
Perhaps you are an in-home caregiver, work at a nursing home, volunteer to take care of a sick or elderly family member, drive a neighbor to and from cancer treatments, are a foster parent, or perhaps you are in the trenches of raising a family of your own. Regardless of which path you are on right now; one thing is certain – the work you are doing matters.
Most days probably feel like you are repeating the same tasks, having the same conversations, and feeling unnoticed and unappreciated. However, it’s in these tasks that others feel seen, valued, safe, and secure.
- Because of you, maybe someone else ate a warm meal today.
- Because of you, maybe someone was wearing clean clothes today.
- Because of you, maybe someone else felt a little less lonely today.
- Because of you, maybe someone received emotional and/or physical first aid today.
- Because of you, someone in the world saw a little bit of sunshine today.
- Because of you, someone found a glimmer of hope again today.
- Because of you, one of God’s precious children felt loved today.
We can all make a difference in the lives of others in need because it is the simplest of gestures that make the most significant of differences. – Miya Yamanouchi
Regardless of whether you are washing someone’s soiled sheets, changing diapers, cooking a fresh meal, dressing a wound, reading someone a favorite book, or taking someone to a medical appointment — the work you are doing matters. Every single task you complete is seen and valued by our Creator.
Caregiving Tips
As you continue this path of caring for others in this season of life, there are several emotional, physical, and spiritual first aid tasks to ensure you are prepared to care for others with a heart that’s committed.
Take it one day at a time
As you complete tasks that might seem mundane to the world, it can be easy to neglect self-care and experience burnout. Whether it be physical, spiritual, or emotional, take time to address your needs. If you are carrying baggage from the past, experiencing physical and emotional burnout, feel like you are in a dry season of marriage, or feel overwhelmed by everything on your plate, remember that you are not alone.Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. – Matthew 6:34
It is also important to take care of your heart, soul, and mind:
- Schedule a counseling session and address past hurts and current defeats.
- Drink ample amounts of water.
- Read, take a bath, and use your God-given talents to create from time to time.
- Work out, enjoy nature, and prioritize your health.
- Grow your interpersonal relationships.
- Invest in your loved ones.
- Let your loved ones invest in you.
- Pray, talk to God, read your Bible, and make your spiritual well-being a priority.
It is also important to regularly have fun:
- Go to a basketball game with your children.
- Go on a date with your spouse.
- Sip a cup of hot cocoa while singing and enjoying a bonfire with your best friends.
- Build a sandcastle when you visit the beach.
- Play playdough and build a fort with your kids or niece and nephew.
Do things that continue challenging you, growing you, and giving you love for the life God has given you. Caring for others can weigh heavy on your heart, mind, and body – so it is important that the weight of everything around you not steal your joy and keep you from breathing it all in.
Take life and responsibilities one day at a time. Look for the beautiful sights along the journey.
Remember who you are and who you are serving.
Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of Mine, you did it for Me. – Matthew 25:40
When you come across ungrateful or harsh people, when the person you are caring for does not appear to appreciate you, remember you are serving God by serving others. While it is not easy, it takes a lot of strength and willpower to answer hate or harshness with kindness.
When someone is struggling, their world can feel cloudy and lonely. When someone feels alone or unloved, they tend to push other people away. When someone is hurting, they want to see other people feel similar pain.
If the person you are caring for or helping seems ungrateful, love them. They are probably more grateful than you realize and unsure of how to put it into words. If the person you are trying to minister to does not say thank you for all you do, remember you are also serving Christ and He sees you. Every single task that you complete matters.
If you are taking someone to a medical appointment or checking vitals – try to remember it can also be an act of worship to our Creator. Today we have breath in our lungs and have been offered the opportunity to turn someone else’s day around – what a gift!
Your strength comes from the Lord
I lift my eyes to the hills – where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. – Psalm 121:1-2
When you are feeling tired or weary, remember that beauty can come from difficult days. On the days when you wonder if you are making a difference at all, God can use you to turn someone’s day around. That ripple can influence eternity. That ripple can turn someone’s life around. That ripple can be the glimmer of hope they have been searching and praying for.
Let Him guide you in your journey.
When you do not know what words to say to someone, pray and ask the Holy Spirit for guidance. When you do not know exactly what to say to someone who is hurting, just love and be there for them. When you do not know how to respond to someone’s rudeness or ungrateful attitude, love them anyway.The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. – Psalm 23:1-4
When you do not know exactly how to ask for help, know that there are no magic words – just ask! Know that it is okay to take a day off, ask someone else to help you, or take some time to work on your own healing so you can continue doing the work that you do.
Make visual reminders that what you are doing matters.
It does not matter if you are a full-time mom, childcare worker, live-in caregiver, or volunteer caregiver – the tasks you are doing matter. I want to encourage you to write these Bible verses on notecards and keep them with you while caring for others.
Let them serve as a reminder that what you are doing matters and God wants to work in and through you to help other people. Remember that on the journey to helping others, your physical, emotional, and spiritual health is also important. Do not be afraid to ask for help and seek counseling when needed.
My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. – John 15:12-13
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline. – 2 Timothy 1:7
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. – Romans 8:28
Photos:
“Baby and Father”, Courtesy of PublicDomainPictures, Pixabay.com, CC0 License; “Two Generations”, Courtesy of Sabinevanerp, Pixabay.com, CC0 License; “Yoga”, Courtesy of StockSnap, Pixabay.com, CC0 License; “Campfire”, Courtesy of Pexels, Pixabay.com, CC0 License