Are Thought Distortions Stopping You from Reaching Your Goals?

Thought distortions are defined as flawed patterns of thinking that lean toward negative words, actions, and behaviors. These patterns can create a pessimistic view of the world around you. Negative thoughts can also lead to paranoia, anxiety, or depression.

Once you recognize the signs of a thought distortion pattern, with the appropriate professional help, you can work to change the pattern, your mindset, emotions, and behaviors.

Examples of thought distortions

There are several patterns of thought distortions. Identifying these distortions in your thinking is the first step in stopping the behavior. At first, you may find it difficult if you have always reverted to these types of thoughts. Journaling your thoughts and behaviors is a beneficial way to analyze and dig deeper into why your thoughts automatically revert to a specific distortion.

A counselor can also assist you in identifying and redirecting your negative thoughts.

Overgeneralizing

Many people overgeneralize an event. For example, you order ice cream at a restaurant only to be told the machine is down. You might say, “The machine is always down.” Words like always and never are common with overgeneralization.

You may use this tactic on yourself. For example, you may want to ask a woman out, but when you finally get up the courage, she says no. You might leave the area thinking, “I never get the girl. No one ever likes me. I will always be alone.” These thought distortions are not rooted in fact, only in emotion, but they can feel like truth in your mind.

All or nothing

All-or-nothing thinking, also known as Polarization, is “black-and-white” thinking. This thought process does not leave any room for errors or mistakes on another individual’s part or your own. For example, suppose you have given up sugar for the last three months. However, on your child’s birthday, you indulge in a sliver of cake.

Unfortunately, the guilt has you throwing in the towel and thinking, “I have blown it now. All of that hard work of abstaining from sugar just went down the drain.” Then you continue in the negative behavior by eating another slice of cake and a bowl of ice cream, allowing days or weeks to go by before you get back on track.

All-or-nothing thinking can cause you to lose friends and create animosity in the workplace. For example, suppose a coworker makes a mistake with one of your clients, and the client leaves the company.

You become upset with the coworker for losing your client, never mind that the coworker has helped you retain customers for the last several years. Your polarized thinking will begin to make an enemy out of this person, creating a hostile work environment.

Ignoring positive feedback

Do you have trouble believing people when they compliment you? For example, suppose you sing in the choir and perform a solo one Sunday morning. Afterwards, people approach you and tell you how wonderful you sang, but a part of you refuse to believe them. You may begin to think that they only made these comments to be friendly and not hurt your feelings.

You may ignore positive feedback, and instead focus on the negative. For example, perhaps you hit one note wrong in your solo. No one in the audience noticed, but you will obsess over that tiny mistake. Positive feedback motivates us to continue, but if you have a thought process that dismisses all compliments, you may have difficulty moving forward in your career or toward goals.

Jumping to conclusions

Jumping to conclusions is a thought distortion that takes on two perspectives: Mind reading and Fortune telling. Mind reading thought distortions revolves around a thought or concern that you have about a particular subject in which you convince yourself that your story is true.

For example, your adult child rushes into the house because she forgot something the last time she was there. She says a quick hello and runs back out. Perhaps you feel guilty about not calling her in a while and start believing that she is angry with you. You fret about this until you finally call her and ask why she is angry.

Fortune telling is another thought distortion that falls under the “Jumping-to-Conclusions” category. Negative assumptions occur through fortune telling about an event. For example, you want to purchase a home but immediately think, “I will never get approved for that house.”

You have not spoken to a Real Estate Agent or a Lender. You have not researched financial options. You only assumed that you would not get approved, so you do not contact the agent. Jumping to conclusions will keep you anxious, depressed, and worried, and will keep you from taking risks.

Catastrophizing

Have you ever assumed the worst possible thing about an event, only to learn that you overreacted? Often this is part of a thought distortion called “Catastrophizing.” For example, your husband is late coming home from work.

Immediately, you think he may have been in an accident. You might try calling him, and you panic if he does not answer. You might even create more negative thought scenarios, such as he stopped for gas and was carjacked.

Bad things do happen to people, but Catastrophizing turns thoughts into perceived reality. The individual works themselves up into a frenzy over an imagined or perceived situation. Additionally, the individual might bombard themselves with “what if” questions, which only deepens their anxiety.

Labeling

Labeling is when you judge someone based on their appearance, behavior, or an event and use that as a basis for your interactions. For example, you look up your coworker online and notice that she posts selfies with heavy makeup daily. You label her as conceited and treat her this way at work. You may even tell others at work that she is conceited without ever getting to know her.

Labeling is often a negative term. You might also label yourself. For example, you have a tight schedule crammed full of responsibilities, so the housework is the last task to get done. Instead of congratulating yourself for your hard work for the week, you label yourself lazy for having a disorganized home.

Labeling influences behavior and can have dangerous consequences. When labeling yourself or others, that person begins to believe the false story. For instance, children labeled “troubled” may continue getting into trouble and even resort to breaking the law.

Pursuit to always be right

Do you feel the need to always be right and have the last word? Do you go out of your way to prove you are right? This thought distortion feeds into a competitive spirit and can cause you to lose friends and create enemies. In your quest to be right, you might ignore evidence contrary to the facts, and view your own opinions as facts.

For example, you comment to a coworker that the boss is unfair and never takes suggestions seriously. However, your coworker reminds you of the last meeting and what policies were enacted based on recommendations from others.

Nevertheless, you continue to argue your point because the boss does not consider all of your ideas. Although you know the coworker has a point, you will continue arguing until the coworker either agrees or walks away.

Relying on emotions or “gut instinct”

Your emotions can feel like fact, however just because you feel that something is true does not make it true. Thought distortions based on emotions can create miscommunication and distressed feelings.

For example, you notice your husband speaking quietly to the cashier at the register after picking up your to-go order. Your “gut instinct” may tell you that he is having an affair. You feel like he is talking quietly because he is making a date. Your husband may be completely innocent of these assumptions, but your insecurity has you “feeling” as if this is a fact. The confrontation that ensues could lead to separation or a divorce.

Contact a counselor today

Thought distortions will continue to cause unhappiness and you will find it difficult to enjoy the little pleasures in life, accept compliments, and let slight offenses go. They will continue impacting relationships in a negative way. A counselor can help you identify thought distortions and patterns and find ways to change the way you think. Contact us today to schedule a session.