4 Common ADHD Habits That Confuse Others

It’s common for there to be a gap of understanding between those of us with ADHD and our neurotypical loved ones. A lot of us are still learning about ourselves, our traits, and why we do the things we do. Long before most of us were diagnosed, we were likely exhibiting traits and developing habits that felt normal or comforting to us but confusing to others.

Most of the time, we don’t think of our habits until someone asks us why we are acting that way. It’s always comforting to know that our habits are common to others with ADHD, even when they are confusing to everyone else.

Different is not bad

People with ADHD are not identical. There is a spectrum of neurodiverse behavior, and every person on that spectrum is unique. What one person with ADHD experiences on a daily basis might be entirely foreign to another. Collectively, all neurodiverse people think and behave differently from neurotypical people.

For this reason, many of us feel as if we don’t compare to anyone, even others with ADHD. It can be an isolating and frustrating experience to feel constantly on the outside of everything.

Most people begin researching ADHD because they have begun to notice a loved one’s confusing habits. We might have even become diagnosed with ADHD because we were confused about our own habits and experiences. In this way, having a set of unique traits is helpful because it alerts us to the possibility of our brains being different from everyone else’s.

It is entirely possible to live and even thrive with ADHD, but we must first understand ourselves and begin to work with our behavior rather than against it.

Four Common ADHD Habits That Confuse Others

If you have ever been asked, “What are you doing?” by a friend who seems both amused and confused at your behavior, you were probably unable to answer them. The fact is that we didn’t know that we were doing anything strange. We had not thought about why we were doing that specific thing. By nature, most of those with ADHD are sensitive toward rejection. A simple question like that can affect our well-being because it feels like we are being judged or called out.

While every person with ADHD is different, many of us have similar habits that stem from our unique nervous system. Having one or a few of these behaviors does not necessarily mean you have ADHD. Neurotypical people might have some of these habits because of their personality or life experiences. These are some of the most common ADHD habits that confuse those without ADHD.

Rewatching television shows and movies over and over again or playing a favorite song on repeat

Many people have a comfort show or favorite song that gives them “all the feels.” As those with ADHD, though, we tend to play our favorite media on repeat until someone tells us to stop. Whether it’s a song, film, or a favorite show, chances are that we are playing it on a loop all day, every evening, and all weekend long. This can be deeply confusing or even concerning to a neurotypical person who would find this behavior repetitive or obsessive.

What is happening is that our dopamine-deprived brains are sucking as much enjoyment and comfort from this media as it can. This is less about escapism and more of a coping mechanism. It feels safe to be surrounded by something familiar and predictable.

After spending our days in a world that feels hostile and challenging, alongside people who don’t understand us, it’s deeply comforting to come home to “old friends” on the TV screen or sing along with lyrics that have burned a pathway into our brain.

Dropping everything because of an appointment or task that is due later in the day

People with ADHD hate having an appointment, task, or event set for later in the day. Even something as simple as having to make a doctor’s appointment after lunch has the potential to consume all of our mental bandwidth to the point that we are physically exhausted before we’ve even done it. We are not being dramatic with this behavior, nor are we catastrophizing simple events. What is happening is more complex than many would realize.

Firstly, our brains are in a constant state of either flitting from one thing to the next like a butterfly in a meadow or locking in concentration so intense it becomes a state of hyperfocus. There is no in-between state for us. So, if we want to remember the details of an important task, we have no choice but to become hyper-focused to the point that all other tasks remain undone.

Secondly, most of us have time blindness, meaning that we have no natural concept of the passing of time. This is why we are frequently late for events or forget to do tasks. If we have something urgent happening later in the day, we must keep the details of it constantly at the front of our minds so that we remember to do it at the right time of day.

This constant state of anxiety is physically draining, but it is the only way most of us can keep time, complete tasks, and make appointments. Many of us, especially in a professional environment, have had no choice but to adapt to this kind of pressure. On the outside, it might seem like we are fine, but inside, we are stressed beyond words over what looks like an ordinary thing.

Practicing conversations before we have them

Many of those with ADHD talk to themselves out loud when they are alone. It’s a habit that makes us look unhinged to others, but it is a common habit that helps us communicate better and align our thoughts.

In particular, we like to mentally script out and rehearse certain conversations we plan on having. Even those who don’t have ADHD might do this for interviews or when they have to give a public address, but we tend to do it even for less important, casual conversations.

It helps to have a roadmap of where our interactions could go, whether it is casual chat between friends, ordering food at a restaurant, or important things we must confront at work. Sometimes we are excited about a piece of news, and so we practice talking it through alone, anticipating the other person’s reactions.

Other times, fear or anxiety motivates us to practice so as to avoid saying the wrong thing. Whatever the situation, it is natural for a person with ADHD to rehearse a conversation before having it.

Shutting down because the emotions have become overwhelming

Whether you’ve had words to describe it or not, chances are that at some point you have experienced being overwhelmed by ADHD. Those with ADHD are often in a state of emotional dysregulation. We experience many emotions in quick succession, or a single, powerful emotion, to the point that we feel paralyzed by it.

We are a bit like a computer that freezes because it doesn’t have enough computing power to process all of the things asked of it. This emotional “spinning wheel” is a common albeit frustrating aspect of having ADHD.

One of the best ways of coping with being emotionally overwhelmed is to slow down and go easy on yourself. This applies to all aspects of having ADHD. There is a way to cope with all of the frustrating things, but we must first stop, breathe, and slow down. It is frustrating to feel misunderstood by others, but we will only get ahead when we try to understand and love ourselves first.

Getting Help

It’s not always easy to know how to cope with ADHD. If you would like some support, we suggest meeting with a counselor to talk about your struggles. Contact our offices today, and we can set up an appointment with one of the qualified therapists in our practice. They will skillfully help you navigate your ADHD in a neurotypical world.