How to Raise Kids Who are Emotionally Available in the Digital Era

When you look at your child, can you describe them as emotionally available? If yes, then you’re one of the lucky few; if not, then join the line with other parents who just think their kids are emotionally available. If you are not entirely sure what that even means, you are, again, not alone.

Simply put, an emotionally available child has acquired the ways of understanding, expressing, and managing feelings in a healthy manner.

In a nutshell, an emotionally available child can:

• Clearly express their emotions and thoughts
• Demonstrate an understanding and empathy for others’ feelings
• Positively interact with others, being interested in them and attentive to their needs
• Employ constructive strategies to deal with stress and emotional upsets

These characteristics are a strong indication of a sound emotional foundation, which is critical for kids’ mental health and social development. However, parenting children in a way that fosters emotional availability can seem almost impossible in today’s digital era. With all the time spent on screens, we are seeing kids more emotionally distant than interpersonally engaging.

Offline Interests and Hobbies Kids are No Longer Interested In

Many children have grown tired of the more traditional hobbies of old and instead prefer instant screen entertainment to activities that require them to be more patient and focused. For example, fewer children today join local sports teams compared to a decade ago. Likewise, children are less often enjoying other non-digital activities such as playing board games, reading books, building with Lego, and playing outside.

This is cause for alarm because these offline interests were great for developing critical social skills and emotional availability. They also explored nature, which was a good way to revitalize imagination and resilience. Gone, too, for many children is gardening, which was great in teaching responsibility while learning about the fauna and flora around them.

What Do Parents Say about Their Kids’ Emotional Availability?

Below are some comments from parents about their child’s emotional availability. Some answers were quite interesting, and some were not surprising.

“As soon as I handed my son his first cellphone, it was like he shut down, even talking with us via texting, even if in the same house.”

“My kids are just hard to read! So instead of trying to understand them, I’m just being myself and love them to bits! Surely that’s enough emotional availability for any child to learn from eventually?”

“I can tell you that, with kids, sometimes I think it’s a case of being less emotionally demonstrative than most people. For example, my child only likes hugging people who are good friends or relatives he likes. He does smile, though, not as frequently as most people do, but I think it just makes him different, not unavailable.”

My kids spend all their time online, gaming, chatting, and streaming. Sometimes I wish I could play these games too, so that I can connect more with them.”

Emotionally open children also tend to be highly confident, less truant, and possess excellent social skills. Involved parents foster these qualities by providing secure attachment through conversations, reading together, and educational activities.

Parents who engage also demonstrate positive, healthy gender roles. Sons develop empathy as daughters create their expectation of what a relationship should be from observation of fatherly actions. Girls learn from motherly behavior, too.

What Parents Can Do To Encourage Kids to Be More Emotionally Available

Encourage open communication every day by carving out time daily to sit down and talk to your kids, asking them how they are feeling or what happened at school or online. Offer the opportunity to openly speak without interruptions while genuinely showing interest in their thoughts and feelings. Make them secure in knowing that they can freely express themselves.

As soon as your children see you working on emotional availability, sharing honestly and in an age-appropriate manner, your feelings and experiences, it helps children develop emotional intelligence.

You all must learn to balance screen time with meaningful, real-world family activities such as walks or sports. These activities encourage conversations away from screens and allow your child to self-regulate. Research supports the idea that a bit of boredom is good. Likewise, when outside, kids become more creative and have better problem-solving skills.

Successfully setting strict technology limits for your teenager means you can firmly and consistently implement these with relevant consequences. Learn to watch out for the signs of digital addiction: the presence of their phones always, changes in behavior, and emotional dysregulation when devices are taken away.

Explain to them the negative effects of screen time. Offer detoxing as a way of protection, not punishment, until it becomes a habit; after all, constant practice builds healthier habits over time. You can start small. You can have times without technology, like during meals or before bed, then extend it to half a day each week. This works wonders because when the kids know you’re involved too, they’ll mimic good habits and further healthy dynamics.

Model emotional availability yourself. Be present and attentive during shared moments. Teach values like kindness, patience, and understanding both in virtual worlds and in real life. A balance of technology with real contact with people will help children develop good social skills and function in a digitized world without losing their humane touch.

Heavy screen time, studies have shown, is detrimental to the development and mental health of young people. Social media makes this worse by hindering their skill at reading social cues and adding to the risks of bullying. The aim should be to teach children how to mindfully use social platforms so that they can avoid some of the potential damage without having to completely disconnect themselves from the benefits of technology.

Emotionally available kids can only be raised with intentionality in the fight to encourage open conversations, face-to-face time, and teaching empathy through real-life interactions in the digital age.

Professional Help That Fosters an Environment for Emotional Expression

Seek professional help if you see that you’re failing to get through to your child emotionally. If your child struggles with emotional expression, a child therapist can offer guidance and strategies tailored to their needs in a trusting environment where emotions are validated and understood.

You’ll find that professionals’ active listening encourages kids to share openly in sessions designed for them. These techniques boost children’s ability to articulate complex emotions, leading to better mental health outcomes and stronger family connections.
Why not talk more with someone who can help, like a qualified child therapist?

Contact our offices today, and we can get you started with one of the therapists in our practice. They will guide you in parenting your child toward sound social skills and toward being emotionally available.