Counseling for Teens: Adolescence and Social Media

Over the past few decades, social media has evolved and shifted regarding adolescence. From the early college days of Facebook and the now obsolete MySpace, we have spawned multiple other ways for people of all ages to connect across the internet. According to a 2023 Gallup survey, today’s teens spend nearly five hours a day on social media and social gaming.

From online gaming to short videos to texting with their peers, social media is a giant presence in the lives of adolescents today. As such, it will significantly impact their choices, the things they want, and their overall mental and emotional well-being.

There can be some benefits from this online interaction. Educational content is readily available for those who are interested. Some influencers offer helpful advice on different topics. Teens can make connections with people who share their interests from far away.

Counseling for teens: addressing issues related to social media

Plenty has been said of the dangers of too much screen time, the impact of cyberbullying, and the issues of body image and social status created by the curated content that influencers put online. Moderation is essential, and helping teens see beyond the filters and edited videos on social media requires parents and therapists to engage in conversations with teens about social media. Learn more about how counseling for teens can be helpful in this area of your teen’s life.

Talk about mental health with your teens

The conversation around teen mental health is ongoing. It happens in public schools, is reported in the news, and is all over social media. By having regular conversations with your teen about their mental health, you can keep the doors open to any concerns. If you spend time discussing their physical health, hygiene, diet, etc., you can also discuss their mental health.

Talk about safety measures on social media

As your teen grows, you change your expectations of them. When they first learn to drive, they have a restricted license. Parents and teens can apply a similar mindset to social media rules. Talk to your teens about the rules that they need to have and what they think is fair. You may only sometimes agree, but if you ask them for suggested rules, they may surprise you with their preferences and insight.

Build trust with each other and keep the conversation open. Open the conversation with what you see as positive aspects of social media, then dive into the negative.

Share stuff with them

Few teens think their parents are cool, but you can keep yourself in the loop of their interests by following some of the things they like and sharing what you like. Your example of social media use is something they watch closely.

They are more likely to respect your boundaries if you lead by example and set boundaries for yourself. For instance, if there is a rule that no phones are allowed at dinner, that should include parents. Follow the old maxim: actions speak louder than words.

Applying biblical wisdom to social media

If your teen thinks the Bible has nothing to say about social media, it’s time to think again. The Bible has principles that can be applied to social media.

I have become a laughingstock to my friends, though I called on God and he answered – a mere laughingstock, though righteous and blameless! – Job 12:4, NIV

While the writers of the Bible could never have dreamed up how human beings would learn to interact virtually, they did have plenty to say about how humans relate to each other. Whether that socialization happens in person or online, we can all apply Biblical wisdom in our interactions. As we can see from Job and several Psalms, the writers of the Bible experienced rejection and support from their friends in various circumstances.

The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray. – Proverbs 12:26, NIV

Influencers are called so for good reason; they are trying to influence you to buy products, adopt certain habits, go to particular places, and more. Talk with your teen about who they follow on social media and why. Watch some of their favorite influencers and ask thoughtful questions about what your teen finds attractive about those influencers.

A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends. – Proverbs 16:28, NIV

Rage baiting, a manipulative tactic used in online content creation, aims to evoke intense emotional responses from its audience, particularly anger and outrage. Its primary purpose is to increase engagement, revenue, and support. Rooted in the concept of “clickbait,” rage baiting is commonly employed by content creators and authors on social media platforms.

An unfriendly person pursues selfish ends and against all sound judgment starts quarrels. – Proverbs 18:1

Social media can be a bottomless pit of abuse. People feel safer being mean when they do not have to deal with a person’s feelings immediately. Social media can be a positive place if you curate who you follow to be so. You do not have to engage in online beef with anyone.
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared. – Proverbs 22:24-25, NIV
Peer pressure can be positive and negative. You will likely see the influence of whatever kind of social media your teen is consuming. Constantly discontent with what they have? Likely a result of seeing things others have that they don’t. Interest in social justice or news items? There’s a good chance that is what the algorithm is feeding them.

And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.’ – Luke 15:9, NIV

Social media can be where teens find friends who inspire and champion them. Positive feedback, encouragement, and the sharing of joy with friends online can be a benefit to a teen’s mental health, particularly if they are struggling in some way at school, sports, or other things. Everyone feels better knowing they are not the only ones to struggle with something. Seeing others overcome challenges can inspire them when your teen faces their own challenges.

I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. – John 15:15, NIV

Learning about friendship is one of the ways we learn about God. Friendship is a core relationship for Jesus and his disciples, the community of believers, and all of us throughout our lives. Finding friends should not be about making cliques of who is in and who is out, but about caring for and being cared for by others. Help your teen remember that the love of Jesus will outlast every form of social media.

It is important to remember that all people online are humans with feelings and failures. The big stars will make mistakes. The snarky soundbites will be on your side one day, and someone else’s the next. The algorithm will feed you things you don’t care about, and AI will continue to provide weird stuff for your viewing.

Counseling for teens: finding support

Teens need not be at the mercy of social media’s ever-shifting whims. They can learn to use it as a tool. Like any tool, it takes time, practice, and loving direction from others, such as the support that can be found through Christian counseling for teens.

If you are concerned about social media’s influences on your teens, it can be helpful to talk to a therapist. When you call our office, we can set up appointments for counseling for teens, parents, or both.