Anger Management Counseling: Help to Bring Anger Under Control
Justin Washington
Anger can feel a bit overwhelming at times. It’s one of those emotions that can elicit a whole-body experience, from your heart pounding, feeling like your vision is narrowing, a tightness in your chest, feeling like your ears are buzzing, and a hollow feeling sitting in the pit of your stomach. Anger can make you feel like you should be doing something – anything – and sometimes the result of acting on that impulse can be words or actions quickly regretted.
Anger management counseling can help you to bring your anger under control, and it’s effective for building a healthy response to anger. It can help to understand what anger management counseling is, what it addresses, and how it can help you deal with your anger effectively.
The Role and Place of Anger
We all get angry. That anger may be mild, and you might call that frustration, annoyance, or irritation. It has more intense forms, however, and these could be described using words like fury, rage, aggression, being indignant, or hostile. These feelings can be provoked by circumstances, people we interact with, or outcomes that we didn’t anticipate or that are less than favorable to us or our loved ones.
Anger often has negative associations because the kinds of things that happen to provoke anger aren’t things we welcome into our lives. We get angry when we experience things like injustice or unfair treatment. Anger comes knocking when the things we care about are endangered; that includes our honor, the safety of our loved ones, the causes we believe in, and the ideas that shape our view of the world.
Another reason anger has negative associations is that we’ve done or seen others do things that are regrettable or even harmful in anger. People shout, make threats, spill secrets, or intimidate or frighten others in their anger. We say and do things that make us blush with shame when we look back on those moments, and we can be perplexed about our behavior when we’re angry.
This might give the impression that anger is always a bad thing. On the contrary, anger can be a helpful part of our emotional toolkit. There is a difference between feeling angry and the actions we take because we feel angry. Two people can get angry at their boss, but one might handle that by sulking, procrastinating, or even getting into a shouting match with them, while the other might calmly address the issues with their boss.
Anger itself is a helpful emotion that lets us know that something is not right. Anger lights a fire under you, alerting you to a violated boundary, that something is threatening you, and so on. The next step is what you choose to do with that, and that’s where the ability to control anger and channel it toward constructive solutions makes a huge difference. Being angry can have a positive outcome, but it depends on how you handle it.
Do I have anger problems? Signs of Anger Problems
If anger itself isn’t the issue, but your actions are, what does that mean? For one thing, you may not know how to deal appropriately with your anger. Some signs can indicate whether you have anger problems, and they include the following:
Regret Doing and saying things when you’re angry that you regret when the feeling passes is a significant sign of anger problems. It points to anger overriding your better judgment in the moment, and that lack of control can cause serious problems. These problems could be legal, for instance, if you hurt someone or damage their property because you’re angry.
Broken relationships High up on the list of things you do in anger that you regret might be saying and doing things that damage your relationships. This includes shouting at loved ones or making threats. Your loved ones might feel unsafe around you, creating distance and a breakdown in the relationship.
Struggling to calm down If, when you get angry, you struggle to calm down, that too could point to anger problems. It suggests that anger has a hold on you and overwhelms your capacity to handle it and calm yourself effectively.
Ever-present anger Another sign of anger problems is when a person feels constantly angry. Anger is helpful in small doses, but if you feel angry often, that presents a problem to your emotional and physical well-being.
Being easily triggered We don’t get angry at the same things, and we don’t get angry in the same way. However, if you get triggered and become angry at the drop of a hat, that can point to bigger problems.
Difficulty apologizing Another possible sign of anger problems is if you struggle to make amends or apologize to others after you’ve had an anger-related incident. Being unable to own the consequences of your anger might suggest that you need help with anger.
You might identify with one or more of these signs of anger problems. If that’s the case, it could be helpful for you to find support and guidance from a mental health professional, such as a counselor or therapist.
Anger Management Counseling – What It Is and How It Helps
In some instances, a person’s anger leads them into trouble with the law. A judge may mandate that they get anger management counseling or therapy as part of the process of rehabilitation.
What is anger management counseling, and how does it help? The first thing to note is that even if you haven’t landed in trouble with the law, you can choose to go for this type of counseling, and it can have a significant impact on your life.
Anger management counseling is a type of talk therapy that can help you gain a deeper understanding of your anger, as well as help you manage that anger in a healthy way. Through this form of counseling, you can develop a healthy relationship with your anger, where you understand its role in your life, and you can effectively set limits and develop ways to respond to that anger.
When you work with your counselor, they can help you understand and deal with your anger in various ways. You’ll learn many things, including the following:
Identifying your triggers Your counselor will help you recognize patterns in your life, including understanding the emotions, situations, or thoughts that trigger your anger. They can also help you become more aware of your physical and emotional signs of anger so that you can intervene quickly and effectively to calm yourself. Through self-reflection, you can develop healthy self-awareness.
Develop coping skills Your counselor will also help you develop coping skills, like relaxation techniques, to calm yourself down. Additional skills, like better communication and problem-solving, can also be powerful tools to help you navigate your world well, address issues, and express your needs effectively, which can curb misunderstandings and conflict.
Improve your emotional regulation Another skill you can learn is emotional regulation, which includes awareness of your emotions and knowing how to manage them, so they don’t control you.
Nurture healthy emotional expression A healthy relationship with anger includes being able to express it in ways that don’t damage you or other people. Skills such as being assertive can help you articulate anger in a respectful but clear manner. You can also explore healthy outlets for anger, like art, journaling, or whatever form of exercise works well for you.
When you work through your anger and understand why you feel angry and how it affects you, you can reduce the frequency and intensity of your angry outbursts. Having anger under control can help improve your relationships with loved ones, as the space feels safe again. Not only that, but it’s also helpful for your own mental, emotional, and physical well-being.
Anger management counseling can be a huge help for you to regulate and manage your anger. If you struggle with anger, contact us today to speak with a counselor and begin that journey.
“Stressed”, Courtesy of Yamu_Jay, Pixabay.com, CC0 License