How to Begin Improving Mental Health for Moms Running on Empty
Gina Hicks
As mothers, we take on more responsibility and roles than other people in our families’ lives. We often play the role of maid, chef, chauffeur, teacher, nurse, event coordinator, and disciplinarian. If you lead a Christian home, then you are also the spiritual leader, drawing your family closer to Christ.
With these responsibilities, you may inevitably begin to experience burnout, anxiety, depression, or fatigue. Learning the ways to improve mental health can help you get back on track to being the Christian mother you are.
Ways to Improve Mental Health for Moms
When you feel overwhelmed, knowing ways to improve mental health can alleviate the burden. Why do we as mothers believe that we must shoulder life’s problems on our own? Are we afraid it will make us appear weak or as if we cannot manage our family?
More women lose themselves in the process of raising their children. Busyness is a snare. How many times have you said, “I don’t have time to do that”? What if we removed that phrase from our vocabulary and focused on setting boundaries to protect what is most important, such as our relationships, peace, and mental health?
Try the following ways to improve mental health to bring peace of mind, lower stress, and prioritize what is truly important.
Ask for help
Starting today, why not ask for support from those around you? Your spouse, parent, sibling, friend, or neighbor could be the answer to your delegation of responsibilities. For example, you could ask a trusted mom friend to care for your children while you run a few errands, and you will repay in kind. If you have a church family or a mom group, you may be able to ask for support with specific tasks.
Matthew 11:28 states, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Sometimes God sends special individuals into our lives to assist us. As I think about asking for help, I recall an internet story from years ago that spelled out how oblivious we are to accepting help at times.
In the story, the individual needed to be rescued, and they kept calling on God to help them. God sent a villager with a rope to help, and they turned them down, saying, “God will provide. He will help.” Then came two other forms of help, and these were turned down as well. The individual who passes away ends up in heaven and says to God, “Why didn’t you save me?”
God then replies, “I sent multiple methods of help.” Although this story is fictional, it helps us reexamine how God may be speaking to us and how we must attune our hearts and minds to really hear from Him.
Most people want to help, but they don’t know what you need. They may not see the need as clearly as you do. Spouses often fall into this category because they see the mother of the family as the one who keeps everything together. Enlisting their help with children, errands, and housework can lower your stress and help you slow down.
Schedule self-care
Forget the spa. Self-care can be whatever activity makes you feel more like yourself. Self-care should provide you with a mental lift and bring joy to your spirit. For some mothers, this can look like grabbing a coffee from the local café and sitting at a table to enjoy it. For others, it can be indulging in a hobby, such as crocheting, crafts, reading, or painting.
Self-care should happen every day. This could be a five-minute facial mask before bed, painting your nails, or curling up with a novel. Self-care can include reaching out to others, like calling your best friend or sister to chat. Aim for at least 5 to 15 minutes a day to do something just for you.
Prioritize sleep
Staying up late might help to get little Johnny’s school project done, but it won’t help lower your stress. Plus, sleep deprivation sets the tone for the next day and triggers the fight-or-flight response. Your mind and body need good-quality sleep to process emotions and support bodily functions.
It can be challenging to get enough sleep with small children. Ask for help from others, or adopt a bedtime routine for both you and your children. For example, after dinner and kitchen cleanup, give your children baths and read a story before putting them to bed. As soon as they are down, skip the social media scroll and work on your own routine.
Perhaps soak in the tub or take a shower, brew some herbal tea, and go to bed a little earlier. Try changing into pajamas before you make dinner if you shower in the morning. Sometimes, making one adjustment can mean the difference between a good night’s rest and waking up throughout the night.
Make healthy meals
The ingredients in ultra-processed foods impact physical, mental, and emotional health. These chemicals interfere with the brain’s processes and can lead to mental health issues, such as anxiety and depression. Healthier meals for you and your family will improve your health and help you save money.
Look for food items with little to no processing. Whole foods like meat, fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and healthy fats are often more cost-effective in the long run. Check out easy cookbooks if you are new to menu planning and cooking or speak to a nutritionist if you are not sure what types of meals would be best.
The library offers a great selection of cookbooks. Through Google or Pinterest, you can type the ingredients you have, and meal ideas will populate. Additionally, you can type in “Give me a four-ingredient meal” on Pinterest or use some of the AI websites, such as ChatGPT or Gemini, and receive results. You can also use prompts such as, “Give me an affordable meal plan to feed a family of three.” These resources are helpful.
Most people give up an exercise regimen because it feels daunting. They end up dreading it, or they don’t see a difference on the scale right away. This can lead to feelings of defeat and frustration. Yet exercise releases endorphins that activate the parasympathetic nervous system and reduce stress hormones.
Instead of focusing on the outcome, such as losing weight, a number on the scale, or fitting into a dress, try focusing on the daily process. What activities make you feel good? Maybe take your children for a stroll outside, try a dance video at home, or practice Pilates. Think about family activities as well, such as bicycling, hiking, and swimming.
Go outside
Sometimes getting outside and enjoying nature is just what the doctor ordered, especially if you live in a colder climate with fewer hours of daylight. Sunlight has been proven to boost mood and regulate emotions. Natural light can trigger the release of serotonin, a neurotransmitter responsible for feelings of happiness and contentment.
Aim to spend time outdoors daily. This could look like sitting on the front step with a cup of coffee or taking a walk. Have a picnic with your children or visit the park. If you can’t get outdoors today, open a window or sit by one to let natural sunlight bathe the room.
Try a 40-day social media fast
The author, Wendy Speake, of The 40-Day Social Media Fast: Exchange Your Online Distractions for Real-Life Devotion, writes about how Christians can get so caught up in the world (and the World Wide Web) that they miss the important things.
Think back to a time before cell phones in our back pockets or in our hands. Were we more productive? Did we spend more quality time doing things that matter to us, our family, and to God? One of the pleas Speake writes about is to “Lift your eyes and find the good works God prepared for you to walk in today.”
When our actions misalign with our values and beliefs, we can feel depressed and anxious. Taking a step back from social media allows you to free your mind, time, and energy for other worthwhile adventures. Try the 40-day social media fast, connecting with God instead of friend requests, and see how you feel at the end.
Speak to a counselor
Sometimes you may not feel like you can share what is really bothering you. Maybe you feel guilty because, as a mother, you think you should be happy and loving 24/7, but instead, you feel stressed out and burned out, snapping at your loved ones.
Counseling can help. A Christian counselor is unbiased and keeps anything you share confidential. They can help you see where you are in this season of life, help you course-correct by addressing your mindset, thoughts, and behaviors, and help you draw closer to God in the process. Try a counseling session or two, either in-office or virtual, to see if it’s a good fit for you.
Christian Counseling to Improve Mental Health
The above suggestions are ways to improve mental health as a stressed-out mom trying to raise her children and enjoy this season of life. Many of these are lifestyle changes or habits you need to adopt to lessen stress, anxiety, and depression. But burnout is real and can make your days challenging.
Christian counseling can introduce you to customized ways to improve mental health by combining faith-based principles with psychological methods. Contact our office today to schedule an assessment.
“Mother and Daughter at the Beach”, Courtesy fo Galih Jelih, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Mother Doing Daughter’s Hair, Unsplash.com, Unsplash+ License


