Media and the Struggle for Self-Esteem

We live in a world surrounded by media messages. You wake up and grab your phone to check your messages and the weather. You use email, check websites, browse magazines, and have your streaming services playing almost as background noise as you go about your daily routine. Media may even tuck you in at night, as you scroll through your phone before drifting off to sleep.

Between those text messages, weather forecasts, and innocent-looking reels are messages that have been deliberately created and curated to influence you. Many times, the purposes are rather blatant. The ad wants you to try the new sandwich at your favorite fast-food restaurant or buy the lovely new shade of red lipstick. But the more subtle messages, the ones not necessarily spelled out in black or white, are more damaging than losing five dollars on a sandwich or lipstick.

Media’s Unhealthy Messaging

The subtle messaging becomes more blatant when you take the time to notice patterns in these seemingly innocent ads and reels. The underlying message is that you have to buy that sandwich if you want to keep up with trends. And that you must buy that lipstick if you want to attract a man.

And it tells young women that they have to be unrealistically thin, with perfect looks, to be beautiful and worthwhile. It tells you that your life isn’t complete, whole, joyful, or fulfilled unless you are willing to buy the thing they are selling or do the thing they are asking you to do.

Advertisements and other media show us what our values as a culture are. History tells us that societal norms and beauty standards have changed little over the last few decades, but what has remained the same is that people, women in particular, are often sexualized and held to an unrealistic standard when it comes to outward beauty.

Media isn’t just a mirror that reflects society’s norms and standards; it is also a mold that helps to set them. What we see, again and again, especially when we’re young and vulnerable, becomes truth and a blueprint by which we measure ourselves.

But the real truth, the Bible, tells us a different story. Real damage can be done when we start believing those relentless messages, rather than the voice of our Creator. The lies that the media tells you can corrode self-worth and corrupt beautiful lives.

Pick up any fashion magazine and chances are high that you will see page after page of women with perfect skin, thin waists, flowing hair, and bodies in a number of different seductive poses. These images preach that perfection is the standard by which we must measure ourselves.

On the surface, of course, they are trying to sell you a new beauty product or designer purse, but the underlying, much more dangerous message is that you are not good enough or pretty enough as you are and that your goal should be to reach these unattainable standards of beauty.

What damage can a little advertisement do?

Many people, maybe even most, aren’t aware of the immense power of repetitive messaging. A single, standalone advertisement for body spray may not have a significant impact on your actions, especially if you are not in the market for a new fragrance. But the repetitive pattern of idealized images builds in your subconscious mind, and these images tell you that you are not good enough as you are.

Glowing models in a skincare ad, a chiseled athlete selling sneakers, and a perfectly curated influencer on Instagram all try to nudge you toward a purchase, but the message is rarely about the product alone. The message is an overall societal attitude telling you that you lack something and trying to convince you that you could be something else, if only you looked the right way.

This kind of relentless comparison, the pressure to measure up to unrealistic ideals, can lead to anxiety, depression, disordered eating, and deep struggles with identity and self-worth. The damage from the constant and unhealthy media messaging can even shape the way we see ourselves for a lifetime.

What may look like just an ad can become an internal measuring stick. When people, particularly young women, adopt this measuring stick, they begin to question their worth. Both teens and adults doubt their beauty or feel inadequate. Over time, these little ads influence more than just what we buy, and begin to influence who we believe we are.

How God Sees Us

The good news is that we are not left to fend for ourselves in this noisy, image-obsessed culture. Scripture reminds us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), that man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart (1 Samual 16:7), and that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

These truths don’t change with the culture, and better yet, they don’t force you to change yourself to receive love and acceptance. God’s love is pure and only dependent on your receiving it.

Helping You and Your Child

It’s never too early or too late to help build immunity to damaging media messages. Parents and caregivers should talk openly about the unrealistic portrayals in media, pointing out what is exaggerated, filtered, and carefully curated.

Teaching children to think critically about what they see and how to identify edited or artificially created images gives them power over what purports to be the truth and adjusts the internal measuring stick they use to categorize themselves in society.

Adults can do the same for themselves. Limit screen time, especially during vulnerable moments like early mornings, right before bed, or when you’re having a particularly difficult day. Follow accounts and media that reflect God’s love and acceptance and that feature authentic representations of real people.

Spend time in Scripture and Christian community, with people who can speak life and truth into your life. And recognize that those filtered social media posts and fashion ads are just pieces of art, not reality.

Therapy can be a lifeline

If you find that you (or your child) are measuring yourself against an unrealistic standard of beauty and worth, therapy can help. Speaking with a counselor allows you to unpack all the messages that you have internalized and to begin to separate the world’s harmful lies from God’s loving truths.

Therapy can help rebuild foundational self-worth that is rooted in your God given identity, not in your appearance or material goods. And can help you reconnect with God’s unconditional love.

Moving On and Out of the Influence

It’s difficult to escape media messaging since it has become such an intrinsic part of our days. But we can mitigate the influence it has on us by intentionally choosing the voices that remind us of what is true. God’s voice is steady and unchanging. He doesn’t judge our appearance or ask us to look a certain way. He doesn’t require that we buy certain products or buy into a cultural mold. He simply invites us to be fully known, loved, and authentic.

Opening the Bible instead of a fashion magazine or beauty-centric app can have life-changing consequences. Rather than shaping our hearts toward unrealistic standards, God’s Word shapes our hearts and directs us toward Him. It can help center our identity on beautiful, lifegiving, eternal truths, not temporary makeup trends or unrealistic standards.

When we fill our minds with His promises, we are reminded that our worth is not something to be earned or that we must attain through meeting impossible benchmarks. His love is something that has already been given, freely, and is available to you at no cost. And in a world that tells you that you’re not good, thin, pretty or smart enough, God gently reminds us that in Him, you are already accepted.