Perfectly Imperfect: Perfectionism and the Anxiety that Causes It

Life is not perfect, and neither are we humans. We cannot micromanage every detail that threatens to pitch our lives out of balance, and trying to do so is just perfectionism. Although it does not feel good, imperfection guides us into new places of discovery and development. Our attempts to exact control and manufacture perfection can gouge the joy of learning and rob us of the resilience often fostered by our failures.

The allure of perfectionism attracts us, but it ruthlessly enacts a standard of performance that is impossible to maintain. Rooted in anxiety, perfectionism focuses on appearance and results rather than the reality that life is unpredictable, imperfect, and often outside of our control.

Learning more about perfectionism can help us better understand its role in our lives. It can be destructive and lead to increased anxiety, depression, feelings of failure, diminished self-worth, and lost confidence. Eventually, it can contribute to decreased motivation and cause a person to abandon one’s ambitions.

The Bible offers spiritual and practical considerations to counter perfectionism. It also holds examples of people who were imperfect but had their hearts toward God. This frees us to shed the myth of perfectionism. It helps us navigate our complex emotions and experiences as we address perfectionism and the anxiety behind it.

Unpacking perfectionism

Anxiety goads us into pursuing the idol of perfection. Its gnawing appetite draws us further away from the peace of deeper friendship with God. Instead of cultivating a hunger and thirst for Him, we chase unrealistic ideals over our perfect Savior. Toil robs us of simply being loved. We transfer our affection from the One who loved us first for the allure of perfect performance.

Anxiety agitates us from resting in Christ. Instead of abiding and delighting, we drive ourselves to perform and improve. Such anxiety uproots us from awareness of being beloved and favored, apart from our behavior. Perfection concerns itself with ruminating over details. It prevents progress and movement toward the future and hope God has reserved.

Perfectionism holds one foot in the pride of performance and outward appearance, and the other entrenched in the fear of man, forever striving to be good enough and accepted. This sense of ongoing labor speaks to the wedge formed in the garden of Eden.

After Adam and Eve sinned, they sought to rectify their imperfection by covering themselves. Still unsatisfied, they hid to further shield themselves. Yet, God in His perfection, pursued them for fellowship, though He already knew where they were and what they had done to get there.

Pursuing perfection

Chasing perfection instead of pursuing fellowship with God, acts as another fig leaf that distances us from Him. It prevents us from bringing our raw and natural selves into His presence. Our own works block us from fully experiencing Him. As a result, we fashion our own way. Then, we look for Him to approve where we did not invite or include Him from the beginning.

We cannot secure our righteousness by altering our design from how He created and imagined us. Returning to Him as our Father and Creator is the first and best step. That is the true way to evolve and emerge as the masterpiece He predetermined.

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. – Ephesians 2:10, ESV

Practical and spiritual takeaways

Perfectionism isolates. It allocates time and resources to an ideal at the cost of those who need and want our imperfect and in-process selves. Our relationships suffer when we evaluate others by the same perfectionism we embrace. When we prioritize our manufactured standard of perfection over what occurs in God’s growth process, we forfeit the opportunity to develop our authentic identity.

We often forget that life-transforming change comes through our errors. Mistakes teach us how to be more effective and authentic as we embrace and navigate imperfections. Spiritually, perfectionism centralizes the focus on us. Its pursuit ceases to offer our lives as a vessel for God’s glory.

Our pursuit of perfection restrains us from embracing weaknesses where God delights to be what we cannot. In fact, our imperfections are where His strength shows on our behalf, yielding glory through what is often beyond our control. It is also through our flaws that we form holy interdependence with others in the body of Christ who sharpen and strengthen us.

Let us be clear that there is nothing wrong with improvement. It makes God glad for us to multiply the resources He’s given. It demonstrates a loving response to our Father’s investment when cultivating skills that polish our God-given abilities.

However, let us note the distinction between co-laboring with God and toiling in our own works. One emphasizes a partnership aligned with the Holy Spirit while the other separates us from Him, isolating us in our own pursuit.

Christ, as both high priest and sacrifice, has forever settled our sin debt. Our need to perform and earn our way into salvation ended with Jesus. As a Worthy Lamb, He offered Himself without spot or blemish to exchange our sin for His righteousness. In our limited strength and finite minds, we could never redeem ourselves from certain eternal death. Instead, Jesus paid the ransom with the priceless value of His life, death, and resurrection.

Perfecting in Christ

No amount of striving in human effort can surpass what we become in Christ and what we produce in partnership with Him. We somehow believe that the energy we pour into a cycle of refining will satisfy our need for the “well done” that we crave from our Lord.

Are we holding ourselves to a rigid and religious standard outside of what God desires or expects? As Father and creator, He longed for fellowship with his earthly children in Eden. He yearns for it now in the garden of our hearts. He wants us to just be with Him, delighting in His presence. Jesus reconciled the brokenness between the Father and humanity.

He is not withholding His approval from us, demanding that we perform our way into His favor. In fact, before Jesus ever performed a miracle, the Father publicly conferred approval on Him. Jesus completed what our own righteousness could have never done. When the Father looks at us, He sees His beloved Son, who has accepted and affirmed us. He is perfecting us into the fullness of Christ (Ephesians 4:12).

Perfection: revisited

Scripture furnishes us with examples of those who had an excellent spirit. We follow the craftsmanship of Bezaleel to trace the creativity of God displayed in his temple work (Exodus 31:1-5). The servant leadership of Joseph reveals his heart to walk uprightly with God in every environment (Genesis 39, 41-49). Proverbs thirty-one hails the virtuous woman in diverse expressions of talent, business savvy, character, and compassion.

All of these examples served and surrendered their gifts, further developing skills that would maximize their effectiveness in the environments where they are called. The Lord promoted and positioned them for favor because their hearts were wholeheartedly toward Him.

In these encounters, perfect meant mature, whole, and complete in surrender and obedience. It was a heart posture of God being the central focus. His glory was revealed through His attention to detail as nuanced through them, not through their wrestling with results. They yielded their preferences to God-directed approval.

Next steps

When we revisit perfection through the lens of Scripture, we find encouragement and relief. God breathed on his children, working through their gifts and skills to accomplish His aims. They carved space in their hearts and in their lives for the Lord to chart the course. They prepared for the moments when God elevated them, but it was not based on their perfect performance or having it all together. He was the architect and conductor.

Although perfectionism and anxiety are demanding, Jesus requires none of it. He finished the work and now welcomes us to unburden our works-ridden hearts. A trained counselor can help you release the stronghold of perfectionism in your life. Please reach out to us today. We will help you locate a counselor and set up an appointment. You do not have to be perfect, but rather willing to take an imperfect first step.