Dr. Monica Vaskey
Adults with attachment disorders.The majority of the early research into attachment disorders concentrated on attachment in infancy and childhood. However, attachment can occur at any stage of life. Individuals with anxious attachment patterns tend to have difficulty believing God sees any value in them or want to pursue a deeper connection. No matter your age, attachment happens in many ways. Remarkable parallels exist between romantic attachment as a child and as an adult.
Young children reach out to their caregivers to touch them. They make physical contact and play with their facial features. Adults behave the same way in romantic relationships. They try to get close to the person they are dating by touching them. The research addresses distinctions between child and adult attachment styles.
The need to divide the two would have been insignificant. The reasons for attachment and the attachments themselves did, however, differ, according to the researchers. Signs of an attachment disorders are not limited to or may include impulsivity, difficulty with trust, closeness, trouble showing affection, and detachment.
Examples of attachment in adults (positive and negative).
- The ability to voice opinions and feelings in relationships, which people with insecure attachment patterns may avoid out of anxiety of losing another person.
- A sense of trust and transparency in adult romantic relationships is something those with insecure attachment patterns or attachment-related concerns struggle with.
- Those with insecure attachment patterns may have trouble with the absence of jealousy.
- Positive self-esteem is an everyday struggle among those with insecure attachment patterns, more so related to relationships.
- Relationships that move at a healthy pace.
The necessities of attachment for survival.
A baby must have a caregiver to survive. The need to become attached to someone is typically less urgent in adults. People can survive without close ties, but we were not created to be alone. We cannot choose our caregivers when we are an infant. We will develop a solid attachment to whoever fills our needs and does so, whether that attachment is healthy or unhealthy.
The best attachment is one that is secure. Being close to someone is simple if you are securely attached. You do not mind being by yourself and are not worried about being accepted or rejected by others. You like both independence and intimacy.
People with anxious attachments want to be close to others but fear that others do not want to be close. They dislike being unattached romantically. When they have one, their neediness is elevated. They want constant approval and intimacy from their significate others.
Attachment impacts more of our life than we realize. People frequently worry, act rashly, and struggle to control their emotions. They feel little self-worth or confidence and blame themselves for everything that goes wrong in the relationship.
People with avoidant attachments may feel they do not need anyone else to be happy. Independence is essential to them. They do not want to rely on anyone else or have others rely on them. They see themselves more positively than others and prefer not to have close relationships. They hide their feelings. When someone rejects them, they are that person from their life.
People who want close relationships, but if their attachment style is fearful, they have trouble trusting anyone else. They might avoid intimate relationships altogether if they do not want to risk being hurt by a partner. They deny their emotions and do not like to display affection.
Adults with disorganized attachment can act in unpredictable ways. They keep trying various ways to get what they need in a relationship, none of which tend to work. Their partner or friends cannot understand what they are trying for, and they cannot either.
Your work relationships also depend on your attachment style. Healthy attachments help us get along with others in a job setting without becoming dependent or reliant on them, fearing what will happen if we do not have a good work relationship or dismiss the need to develop work relationships. Because of this, suitable attachments can help you achieve tremendous success.
Do attachment patterns ever alter?
Evidence shows that attachment styles can change, although not often. These changes can usually happen after an emotionally traumatic or painful event. However, the fact that you might not change your attachment type need not be a cause for giving up on relationships. Instead, you can learn to deal with your attachment type more positively. A therapist can help you identify and draw your attachment issues and seek spiritual help.
Attachment disorder recovery.
First, you must deal with traumas and the effects of unhealthy childhood attachments. In one type of attachment therapy, you accomplish this by sharing your experiences and allowing yourself to experience the emotions you repressed as a child.
According to research, attachment behaviors in adult relationships originated in childhood. One of the best ways to improve and overcome attachment disorders is through therapy. Therapy can help adults and kids with attachment-related concerns (including attachment disorder symptoms, attachment disorder symptoms, attachment, and more) become more attached.
Our early experiences strongly influence our attachment style as adults. How we were parented, the safety and comfort of our childhood environment, and our early relationships with critical adults will influence our adult attachment style. Recent research also indicates that our attachment style can impact our relationship with God.
Individuals with an anxious attachment style may also believe that God will reject them. Individuals with a dismissive attachment style may struggle to value their relationship with God. They may be reluctant to seek God’s community within a Christian fellowship and Bible study. Individuals with an avoidant attachment style may not likely believe that pursuing a relationship with God is a high priority.
A foundation for faith and our attachment to God.
Since God is loving, He is the only source of safety, and spiritual attachment works similarly to human attachment. Believers seek proximity to God, viewing God as a haven in times of difficulty and as a secure base for activities in the world.
Comfort by God calms the attachment system so believers experience soothing and can resume adult activities. Secure attachment to God is associated with positive religious coping, including accessing God as a source of strength, engaging in good deeds, and displaying fewer expressions of discontent or blame for God.
Moreover, it is also associated with reduced psychological symptoms and greater life satisfaction. Secure attachment to God is a foundation for a believer’s psychological health and capacity to engage as Christians in the world and congregational life.
Attachment to God from the beginning stages.
A secure attachment relationship with God may develop from birth when Christian parents, who are themselves secure attachment figures for the infant, use stories and little rituals to show that God is attuned to the child’s needs and will meet them. The child learns to pray. The child expects that God will be kind and may later seek God as an attachment figure in times of distress.
However, if attachment to parents is insecure, teaching about God will be filtered through the experiences and expectations of insecure attachment. If children view themselves as unworthy of human nurture, they are unlikely to be able to experience being loved by God, themselves.
If they view others as unwilling or unable to meet their needs, they are unlikely to be able to experience God as entirely dependable and caring – whatever their professed beliefs. This can become a crucial difference between people’s beliefs and their emotions.
In conclusion, the positive news is that whether we are thinking in terms of our relationships with God or others, we can have a secure attachment style, or if we do not have a secure attachment style, we can develop a sense of security. By taking intentional and positive steps to improve our relationships in the ways mentioned earlier, we can relationally interact with others and create and maintain healthy attachments with God’s help.
“Embrace” Courtesy of freestocks.org, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Comfort”, Courtesy of Kenny Eliason, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Reaching Out”, Courtesy of Jackson David, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Praying Man”, Courtesy of Jack Sharp, Unsplash.com, CC0 License
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