10 Symptoms of Complex Trauma

Among the different types of trauma people experience, complex trauma is among the most common and most damaging. It mostly occurs in young childhood and is caused by a parent or caregiver. Complex trauma might stem from repeated instances of abuse or invasive treatment, or it might develop as a result of profound neglect over the years.

When repeated abuse or neglect occurs at such a young age, it impacts that child’s ability to develop a secure attachment with people. When the child grows up, they will experience a range of symptoms and effects due to complex trauma. These symptoms affect their mood, mental health, and future relationships.

A Rough Start

Our parents, caretakers, teachers, and guardians are supposed to be the ones to make us feel safe and to show us how intimacy and trust work. No one is perfect, and most parents and leaders repeat the treatment they experienced, whether nurturing or harmful. Everyone suffers a certain amount of harm at the hands of the people who are meant to love them. Sometimes, we only realize how their actions affected us late into adulthood.

We might derive some aspects of complex trauma from flawed parents. For example, some parents are well-meaning but strict, disallowing things like locked doors and keeping privacy to a minimum as they try to control the household.

This is not technically abuse, nor is it neglect, but it does communicate fear and control over kids who sometimes simply need space. Growing up in a household like this can impact a person’s ability to establish healthy boundaries as an adult, given that they were not allowed to have boundaries as a child.

However, other children grow up in obviously abusive, toxic environments. For some, abuse is ongoing and persists into their teen years. Parents and caretakers who battle with substance abuse are likely to be neglectful, causing children to take responsibility from a young age. While we all sustain some degree of trauma from bad parenting, it is the children who have to face constant abuse or chronic neglect that suffer the most from complex trauma.

Ten Symptoms of Complex Trauma

Although two people might have similar experiences in their childhood, they might grow to have vastly different responses as adults. Symptoms of complex trauma might vary from person to person. However, there is a collection of symptoms that occur frequently in people who carry complex trauma from their childhood.

A person might experience a number of these symptoms outside of complex trauma, but the existence of three or more of these symptoms would suggest that there is healing from a hurtful childhood that needs to take place.

Shame

One of the bitterly ironic effects of abuse and neglect is that the victim is the one who carries the shame almost every time. Shame is something we tend to wear, like a cloak. It remains part of us, shielding us from situations that could harm us. However, it also holds us back and keeps us stuck. Shame doesn’t go away until we identify it and begin addressing it.

Mistrust

It is little wonder that a child who suffered trauma from the people who were meant to protect them would grow into a distrustful adult. We cannot trust until someone proves themselves to us. Even then, we might fall back on old habits of not trusting anyone. Mistrust leaves us lonely and sometimes bitter that people can’t be reliable.

Searching for a rescuer

When we miss out on having a protector or provider as a kid, we never really let go of needing one. That yearning sticks with us well into adulthood, and we might gravitate toward friends, coworkers, and lovers who feel competent in ways that we are not.

For example, we might choose a partner based on their groundedness and calm because we feel turbulent and unpredictable. There is nothing wrong with being rescued occasionally, but it does increase the risk of forming codependent relationships.

Emotional flashbacks

When we experience abuse as a child, our young brain has a way of shielding us from some of the horrors. Sadly, even when that happens, we often carry around a memory of it as we grow. There are times when our thoughts return to those dark places, and we have moments where we vividly remember details. It can feel as if we are back there. These flashbacks can be distressing and debilitating.

Dissociation

One of the coping mechanisms built into our nervous systems is dissociation. This is like a mental and emotional “blanking.” Our focus drifts into nothingness, and for a brief moment, we simply don’t feel or think about anything. This can be a helpful tool in a moment when we can’t escape danger, but it tends to happen frequently after complex trauma. This emotional and mental disconnect can become an attitude of general numbness or paralysis if it continues.

Emotional regulation issues

Children who suffer abuse or neglect generally have no place to express themselves. They might be threatened for speaking out about abuse or ignored in cases of neglect. This means that they never learn how to regulate or control their emotions. It often results in adults who have tantrums, outbursts, and unpredictable emotions.

Hypervigilance

If we grew up in a house that felt unsafe or around adults whose behavior was unpredictable, we might find ourselves being hypervigilant adults. This state of anxiety means that we can never truly relax or be ourselves around people. In turn, this will lead to us isolating ourselves and cutting ties to others.

Sadness and suicidal thoughts

Sometimes, it all just feels like too much to handle. We can’t find our way out of the darkness, and it feels as if we have no options or hope beyond our current situation. This is a deadly fruit of complex trauma. We must either divulge these feelings to someone else or stop our thoughts before they become futile. There is always hope and a reason for us to go on.

Loneliness

When we cut ourselves off from intimacy because we can’t trust anyone, the outcome will be loneliness. Most lonely people crave company, but they think they are not “good” at relationships. There might be a lot of hurdles to clear before we can connect with someone, but it is possible; we don’t have to remain lonely.

Loss of faith

People can hardly be blamed for needing proof before they believe something. If you have never experienced kindness from someone, you won’t have faith in the goodness of people. Sadly, not having something to believe in or look forward to only breeds disillusionment and futile thinking. Faith in anything can be a life raft, lifting us out of despair.

Finding the Way Through

Our beginnings do not have to determine our end. History is full of people who were oppressed but overcame and inspired others to do the same. The effects of complex trauma are no small thing, and the challenges we face in addressing our pasts can feel overwhelming.

However, it is possible to move on with our lives, forming healthy attachments. Someone who has experienced complex trauma can heal, love others, become a capable parent, and enjoy deep friendships with the people who love them. It will require taking things day by day, resting when the healing work becomes too much, and keeping eyes focused on the future, which is one filled with better days.

For someone who has experienced complex trauma, talking with a counselor can bring important perspective as well as useful information. If you feel that you have suffered from complex trauma, reach out for that help.

You might not experience a breakthrough in your first session, but counselors are patient, compassionate, and dedicated to your well-being. Our office can help. Contact us today for an appointment with a counselor experienced in helping individuals with complex trauma.